 |
"Hope is Sharing your Experience and Strength..."Share your recovery with us. After all it is in sharing that we provide Hope and healing. Living in the Solution not the problem we find freedom.
Simons Story of Hope 2005 (Gold Coast Australia. Sobriety Date 11.12.1998) Hello my name is Simon. My recovery begins October 1998 not that I knew it then. The night of the 19th I had a bad car accident after deciding to drive drunk. I was stuck in the car for about 6 hours or so I dont really know, but it was this night that I first really found peace as strange as it may seem. At some point during the night I awoke to see just the moon through the broken wind screen, at the time it didnt seem like much but on later reflection ( much later) I had for the fist time handed something over to a power greater than my self. After two operations, lots of physical pain and two weeks in hospital, I thought I would never drink again. I did, and bashed another member of my family. I was then put in a position that I needed to be in, Hopelessness. Luckily there was some one there who was able to help me. So on the 11th december 1998 I finally got sober in a 12 step program. If found that once I had put the drink down all these things started coming to attack me and I didnt know what they were until some one told me that they were feelings and that they were totally normal. Now I found in early recovery I was very emotional because I had no idea how to handle my emotions I was up and down like a roller coaster, so naturally I became a bit frustrated and angry by all these new feelings and emotions that where washing over me. I would be sitting watching t.v and all of a sudden start crying or get angry or even start laughing, I thought I was going mad but I was told that it would sort it self out! So I made a decision that these emotions were only going to get me into trouble so I become Mr Angry, I would just react to things with a different level of anger, depending on the imaginary offence some one had comitted, whether it was to me or anyone else it didn't matter. I would just react with anger. For nearly seven years I have walked around with this rubbish inside me. I would talk to others in the fellowship and they would say just let go let God, but he only helps those who help themselves. Thankfully I met some one earlier this year who mentioned to me that she had done alot of work on family of origins, SHAME and healing the so called "inner child" or re parenting self. I have now started doing work in this area and already have made huge improvements in my life. For me it is about building self esteem and owning my shame by not leting it own me, or letting the feelings come and then acknowledging them and bringing them out into the open and not suppressing them or hiding them.
BACK TO TOP
|
